The Hive Five Podcast
5 Key Takeaways from Tom & Ariana Sylvester
1. Learn about yourself and others around you.
2. Don’t try to be like everyone else.
3. Find your support system.
4. “Pretty” marketing doesn’t necessarily equal you getting results.
5. Remember why you’re doing this.
We are glad to welcome back to the Hive Five Podcast, Tom Sylvester, who is with his wife Ariana in this episode. Tom was in our third ever episode and we are excited that he was kind enough to make another appearance. Tom and Ariana are the founders of Lifestyle Builders, the company Tom talks about in episode 3, but in this episode, we go a different route. We talk to Tom and Ariana about their story together, Ariana’s perspective on Lifestyle Builders, how they work together as husband and wife, and we talk about their upcoming book “Lifestyle Builders: Replace Your Income, Quit Your Job, and Live Your Ideal Life”.
Tom and Ariana met in college and became a couple not long after meeting. They discovered they both had similar goals and aspirations and decided to work towards achieving those. After graduation, they started a real estate investing company, they had a baby, then started a wine and liquor store, had another baby, and ultimately started an online consulting company, which has since become Lifestyle Builders. The goal is to build a movement of entrepreneurs whose goal it is to become an entrepreneur for the freedom it allows you to provide and care for your family. They help entrepreneurs build the lifestyle they want and are working towards living.
One of the unique perspectives we debut in this episode is hearing from a couple that actually work and co-manage a business together. Many people say that they would never be able to work alongside of their spouse. However, because Tom and Ariana both aspired for the same things and had similar mindsets, they have found a way to make it work. In this episode, they discuss tips and tricks for how they work through any rough patches, but also how they work together in a day-to-day setting.
If you enjoyed Tom’s previous episode, you definitely need to check this one out! It’s full of great stories and advice on business, entrepreneurship, and especially working alongside your spouse. If you haven’t listened to Tom’s past episode, go give it a listen as well! You won’t regret it!
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So what do you think about this power couple, Tom and Ariana? Well, I don’t know if I could ever do it or not, but working with your spouse, it sounds like it would be the funnest job ever. Don’t know funnest is a word, but it would be the funnest job ever. Well, they make it sound that way, but I think there’s some strategy behind it that they’re going to tell us about today. Yeah. They obviously have to do something that would make it work, but man, they make it look so fun
when the going gets rough and you know how the saying goes. Sometimes things happen. Life happens and it’s not always our fault. In this podcast, we’ll feature real life testimonials from people like you from good times, too bad body memories and hard lessons.
Everyone has a story and everyone has been there for business owners, to parents, to young adults, the Hive Five to tell stories of overcoming the struggles and adults while celebrating the little victories of wine into each podcast. I guess we’ll get insight to five key takeaways from someone who’s been there and done that, leaving you better than when you started. Hey guys, thanks for listening today. This is Keagan with BriteBee and this is Katherine with BriteBee. Thanks for being on the podcast today. We’re excited to have Tom and Ariana Sylvester, serial entrepreneurs and founders of Lifestyle Builders. They have also written a book which hasn’t been released yet and we’ll learn a little bit more about that soon and put a little bit more in the show notes for you, but you might remember Tom from our third episode ever. Actually one of our best listens, so he’s done a phenomenal job there, but we are glad to have Ariana with them today, which is his wife. Guys, how are you guys doing? We’re doing great. How are you? Hey, doing good. Doing good. So, Ariana, this is your first time. So, we’re really glad though because we hear that you’re even more awesome than Tom is.
That is true. That is the common theme that tends to come up. I can’t lie.
Well that’s good. So tell us a little bit, so if some of our listeners haven’t heard, tell us a little bit about you guys and just what you’ve started and just give us a brief synopsis of, of where you are now.
Do you want to start? I guess I can start. We met in college, college sweethearts, graduated, got married, bought a house and Tom got that entrepreneurial itch and we started our first business, a real estate business. I should I say we, I should say he um, then he wanted to start a wine and liquor store. We had a baby. Um, we started sort of an online business with the coaching and consulting and then we had another baby. Um, and yeah, now we’re here today with our current business lifestyle builders. Wasn’t really, that was a really short one. I’m pretty impressed.
Twitter pitch. I mean that is, that was quick. I’ve been practicing. So tell us a little bit, how has that been going for you thus far?
So at first, um, if you guys have listened to Tom’s episode, I’m sure he probably talked through me being the sub, the spouse who wasn’t really on board. Yeah, you called yourself the reality Checker, but really you were just like the no button. I was the no button and then I shifted into the reality checker. It, he got me in little bits and pieces. He got me on board and little ways, uh, first in the real estate business was I started kind of doing some of the office management stuff to help him out. Um, and then when we open the wine and liquor store again, I was doing kind of like the managerial role, taking care of the employees, the inventory, kind of all of the office backend stuff. And it was just over the years he’s kind of gotten me further and further into the businesses. And now in our online business we are full partners. Fifty slash 50. I have finally jumped in with both feet.
Well that’s good. It only took about 10 years, 10 years, 10 years to get the itch. Totally. You have the itch now?
I do. I have the itch now and I think that that it comes back to Tom’s really strong why and throughout the years just kind of seeing that unfold and seeing the opportunities that entrepreneurship and being a business owner can allow for you in life. And now you know, we have kids now, so that’s kind of a big deal. Being able to create the life that we want for our family. Well, no wonder you didn’t have the itch in the beginning. You were doing all of the bookwork and all of the fun jobs.
That is great. Now tell us a little bit about your kids. So how many kids do we have?
We’ve got two kiddos. Our daughter is six. She just started first grade and our son just turned three this summer, but for a couple months he was convinced he was four and he was convincing other people as well. You that? He was four. I mistakenly told someone on a podcast interview that he was four and then,
oh my God, he’s so good salesmen, we’re, we’re teaching them these skills, these influence skills. That is really great. So you guys met in college, uh, then he got the itch and then 10 years later you finally got the itch as well over much influence and hard work. Right. And so how do you believe that this has really helped you guys in your business? I mean, a lot of people would say that they would never work with their spouse. So. Yup. Have you guys ever said that to each other? Like we would, we thought we would never work together or have you always been those two people who are above
Yeah. Well, I mean, like from our story, you can tell that we were on very different levels, you know, for years, three different pages. Yeah. And basically, you know, I had that entrepreneurial itch and Arianna was completely content with that traditional path. So it took us years and a lot of conversations to figure out first off what we wanted out of our lives, which was, you know, a financial freedom and kind of building a certain life for our family. But then beyond that it was like, well, okay, so once that’s there, then what? And you know, really for me it was helping other people and then as we continued talking about it, it was helping other people like us helping other entrepreneurs in relationships, helping other families. Because what we saw happening was these entrepreneurs like myself would go out and start a business and they would tell us they were doing it for their family.
But when we looked at what they’re actually doing, they were sacrificing their family to build this business. And we didn’t like what we saw, we, we struggled ourselves with trying to figure out how do you balance the two. And so what we ultimately kind of came with our bigger why was helping entrepreneurs build the businesses they need for the lives they crave for their families. And so what’s actually been pretty cool with that is today is actually our 10 year wedding anniversary. And in addition to that, like it kind of in celebration, um, we actually all of this month we’ve been interviewing other successful entrepreneurial couples and,
and every one of every one of them has gotten the same question. Like how do you work with your spouse without killing each other? I could never work with my.
Yeah. And so what’s been cool is we never thought we’d worked together, but it was less about are we gonna work together and more about what’s the mission, what do we want our lives to look like, what, how, what, how do we want to impact other people? And then once we get aligned on that, then it was simply, okay, well what role is, do we each play to make that a reality?
Well, and I think there’s two points to really think about here is not every couple should be working together or is maybe I guess cut out for working together. And the reason that Tom and I work is because we are very different, our personalities are workstyles, everything is very different. So in a lot of ways we fill the gaps that the other one lacks. So you know, tom is the big vision. I am more detail oriented person. So obviously those two things go together very well and you know, just other aspects of our personality allow us to kind of fit in, in like puzzle pieces, you know, like we fit very well to be able to create that whole picture and a lot of times the things that I enjoy doing or maybe not the things tom enjoys doing, so we’re able to kind of have each, have the tasks on our plate that we enjoy or at least are good at as opposed to having to do all of those things our self.
And the other thing is, um, I think we don’t, we’re not together all the time. I mean we are together all the time where we live in the same house and we work in the same house, but we don’t spend every single minute of every single day together. So I think a lot of people think like, oh my gosh, if I was with my spouse all day every day, it would drive me nuts. You know, we would be at each other’s throats. But Tom and I have different working styles. So we each work in different parts of the house, we, you know, we work with headphones on or music on or you know, we’ve kind of found our space, our own space, so while we work to gather we are not necessarily like right next to each other all the time, so that does give us a little bit more space as a couple. Um, and I think we’re really intentional about taking some time away on our own as well from just impersonal time. Well Tom and Ariana, we’re just getting started. We have a lot more to talk about. And with that being said, I want to go ahead and segue into those five key takeaways because what you just said ties into the first key takeaway. Learn about yourself and others around you. Just like you said with you and Tom. Yes.
Yeah. And I think that was one of the biggest things that we basically had to figure out, you know, when we met and first started dating, you know, there wasn’t much thought about it. We were attracted to each other. We had a great time at that point. We knew everything about each other, it all just happened naturally and then as you go through all those changes have, you know, graduating, getting a job, starting businesses, starting kids, getting married. What we figured out was that there was a lot that kind of change. We each change in certain ways and all of that kind of pushed our relationship and you know, staying connected to the back burner. So when we started kind of bumping heads and really couldn’t figure out why we were running into issues that we had never had. What we did was we took a bunch of personality tests and we read our results and then we shared them in. Once we did that, it really helped us figure out like what are we good at, what are we not? And then same thing with our partner so that we could figure out what role should we play and how do we work together to maximize our strengths rather than looking at, you know, the differences in saying that it’s not going to work.
Yeah, and I mean from a personal level, I think a lot of us go through life never truly learning about ourselves, about our tendencies, about our strengths and weaknesses. We just kind of have figured some of them out along the way. But when you are number one in a relationship, a number two apparent and number three, working together with your spouse, truly understanding yourself and your working style, your fears, your aspirations, you know, your communication style. All of these things that you maybe didn’t have 100 percent down before. If you can learn all of those things, it gives you a better insight into how you react to problems, uh, how communicate with your spouse and how they communicate back, how you kind of move through life. And I think that makes a really big difference both in how you show up on the personal life side of things as a spouse and as a parent, but also how you show up as an entrepreneur.
And for me, that was one of my biggest struggles is, was coming into this world and feeling like an outsider because I didn’t identify as an entrepreneur at first and I had to go through a lot of shifts, a lot of growth, a lot of really tough times in the last few years because it was like this war of, well I kind of am an entrepreneur because I’m doing all of these things, but I don’t actually truly feel like an entrepreneur and I don’t know where I fit. So going through a lot of those personality assessments, um, you know, talking to mindset experts are going to therapy and just kind of getting truly in touch with yourself. It allowed me to really get a better handle on who I was, especially after having kids because that is, you know, a life changing event. And I think it’s really easy for parents, for us to lose ourselves in taking care of our children all the time.
So that was, that is why that was my first takeaway is because it is so, so essential to learn about yourself. And in doing that, you also should be learning about the people around you because interactions with those people is going to dictate a lot of how things play out. So you mentioned a lot about what you’ve learned about yourself along this journey. I’m really curious to know what you learned about Tom, that you thought you knew, but you didn’t know in the, in the time that y’all started a business and then went to a different business and it sounds like that, that pattern. Yes. So interesting fact about Tom that I learned was we each process emotional things very, very differently. So example, I am a crier. We have disagreements. We have things come up that are frustrating and for me that often ends in a reaction to an emotion that I haven’t processed yet, which is results in tears.
Um, but that being said, you know, 10, 20 minutes later I’ve already worked through those emotions and come out on the other side. And then I’m good. Like, you know, just I’m okay. I had to get the emotions out. Then I was able to process them. Now I’m okay. Whereas with Tom, he is a very, a high achiever, so something like an emotional response is very frustrating because he, oftentimes he doesn’t know how to process that, so he has to take time away to process and it takes him a lot longer to process than it usually me. So I had to get used to that and kind of give him the time and space to be able to process those emotions and kind of also remind him that my way of processing emotions is very, very different. So you know, not to take on take on that problem as like, oh, I caused that. I made her cry is no, I’m just reacting to emotion.
One of the biggest things there was, you know, I, I’m a coach, I help people figure out and get clarity what they to do and then I help them achieve it. So that’s an emotional journey. But I don’t have an attachment to most of the people I work with. I have a very different attachments. Ariana. So while we had to figure out, you know, how to kind of step through that and make that work and it’s still a work in process, but I’m a lot more awareness of ourselves. Makes that easier. Or you coaching her through her crying. I was trying. I wouldn’t recommend that. It doesn’t work out very well.
No. And I have done that with my wife before. I think she looks at me like, you need to shut up
right now. You know what guys? Sometimes you just kind of cried. That’s what God’s need to the question, why are you crying?
Yeah. Well that was my biggest thing. It was um, when I saw her crying immediately I was like, all right, what did I do? And then second, how can I fix this? And then, you know, what I had to come to was, you know, it may not be anything I did and it may not need any fixing. And as someone that’s a problem solver and always trying to help people, that was tough to kind of step back and say, okay, it might not be you. You might not be able to do anything. Just sit.
Yeah, that, that is difficult. I have to practice that. I have to practice that quite a bit. So I’m not saying that my wife is crying all the time either. So Madison, if you hurt, if you hear this, I’m not saying you’re crying all the time, but uh, digging myself a hole there. Um, but now it’s something that I’m not used to all the time and I have to, I have to work through or I’m trying to coach her on why she should stop crying and it doesn’t, it doesn’t help anything. Confession out. So Ariana, you, you mentioned something about feeling like an outsider and I think this gets down to our next point and our next key takeaway that a lot of people when they feel like an outsider, what they try to do is be like everyone else. But you’re saying. And Tom is saying, don’t try to be like everyone else. Tell us a little bit more about that.
So I think one of my biggest struggles coming into this was not only did I feel like an outsider in the entrepreneurship world, but I had a bit of that imposter syndrome because we were coming into this online space as you know, quote unquote business coaches and, and helping people figure out how to build their businesses and I oftentimes would compare myself to Tom because he had so much more experience coming from a consulting background with huge, huge companies and working with high level team members and you know, he had gone and gotten his masters and he’d read a budget, 10 business books and just loved this stuff. So I felt like I didn’t really, not only did I not belong because I wasn’t a true entrepreneur, but then I felt like I didn’t belong because I wasn’t. I didn’t feel like a business coach or like I should be coaching people.
And one of the pieces of feedback that we got multiple times, I don’t even. I can’t even give you an estimate on how many times I’ve heard this over the years was that people were attracted to us. And to me in particular, because I wasn’t just another entrepreneur business coach, I was the spouse of an entrepreneur business coach that did have businesses and had actually run, you know, two brick and mortars plus now this online business. We had kids, we were married, we were working together and one of the aspects that I always brought to the table was looking at it with a different perspective. So when people would bring problems to us, I would immediately go to a perspective that the entrepreneurs didn’t commonly think about because I wasn’t an entrepreneur. So I didn’t think that way. So oftentimes I would ask questions about their life or you know, questions about their emotions or what their, what their thoughts had been, and it oftentimes would kind of jiggle loose something that they hadn’t really thought about and that ultimately ended up helping them solve the problem because it wasn’t really a business problem in the first place.
It was something on the life side that was kind of getting in the way. So I think when I, when I talk about just, you know, being yourself and not trying to be like everyone else, that was something that I failed that at first because I did try to be the entrepreneur with our first brand. Uh, we had serial startups podcast and that’s what we started off in the online space and I really didn’t connect with that. It didn’t feel like us. It didn’t feel like we were giving the right message or attracting the right people. And when we did that big pivot into the family space and we came upon the lifestyle builders, that was when everything kind of fell into place. Uh, I felt like I knew what my role was and I knew where I belonged. I felt like Tom knew what his role was and where he belonged and we kind of had this cohesive thing together that allowed us to be ourselves, to be goofy, to be silly. Uh, people loved that we were real, that we talked about real life stuff and that we weren’t perfect and we weren’t trying to be perfect all the time.
Well, and you know, a part of this too, it actually builds off that first point of know yourself because what a lot of people fall into is they look at what everybody else is doing and they try to just mimic or copy that, but oftentimes, um, if it doesn’t align with who you are and what you want to achieve in the type of business you want, you’re not going to be happy. You’re going to feel that imposter syndrome. But what we help people do is figure out like, what kind of life do you want? Who are you, what’s important to you? And then build the right business to make that a reality. So the tagline is your life, your business, your way. And I think really what it comes down to is doing it the way you want and for what you want, not just following what everybody else is doing because you think that’s right or what you should be doing.
Yeah, that’s a great feedback. You know, a while back we did a podcast and a, our interviewee, Joel Berger said, comparison is the thief of joy and every time somebody brings this up about comparison and don’t try to be like others, I always think about that because that’s so powerful. So feel free to steal that from Jill. She told us what we could take away. Number three, and this is something really important that we have found out as entrepreneurs is find your support system. So tell us a little bit more about what you mean. So this again tags off of the last takeaway, which was when I felt like an outsider, I didn’t really start to feel like part of the in crowd until I found a support system of other entrepreneurs in this space. And at first it was a little bit difficult for me because I was like, oh, well I’m.
I called myself the accidental entrepreneur back then because I was the spouse that got pulled into entrepreneurship and I was like, oh, well where am I going to find other people like me? You know, everyone on these groups and stuff on Facebook is an entrepreneur like they’re all here because they want to start a business and they’re more like Tom, but what I started to find was it not everyone was. There were other people in these Facebook groups of these communities that were similar to me or at least were like me and we ended up going to a live event. Tom Dragged me when our son was only four months old. He dragged me off to a live event with a small group of entrepreneurs, but two of the entrepreneur is there, or sorry, four of the entrepreneurs there were couples, so they were married and working in business together, so that started to really show me like, Oh hey, there are people out here that are doing what we’re doing, and that means there’s people that are going to relate to the ways that I feel.
Maybe not 100 percent, but there are. There are people who know what I’m going through right now. Talk about planning. Tom. Oh, he totally had strategic planning on that one. Yeah, there was. That was planned well. Well, and ahead, um, but that really gave me the, it kind of opened my eyes to that possibility of holy crap, I can find other people like me that are going through this and, you know, have all these online friends that understand what we’re going through. Um, so yeah, I always tell people, you know, to find someone to find a group of people that you can go to for support, for venting sessions, for celebrations a, because that was one of the biggest changes for me was when I found that.
Well and the thing people don’t realize, especially as you’re kind of new on the journey, you think you have to know everything yourself. And like one of my biggest, you know, changes when I started to really grow was what I call it. Getting over my ego, which was I didn’t have to do it myself. I could ask other people and that was okay. And once we did that and like from talking and just knowing so many other successful entrepreneurs, you would be amazed at just how much support they have because we need it. And um, you know, people are surprised that we have like multiple coaches and we go to a marriage counselor and we do all this stuff and it’s not because anything’s bad but is because the more successful you are and the more you have going on, the more important it is to build the environment that supports you and gives you what you need in all aspects of life in business.
So you said pretty marketing doesn’t necessarily equal you’re getting results. Let’s talk about that more. What, what do you define as pretty? So I, well I could have put another word in those parentheses and it would be sexy. So everyone is always attracted to the marketing that looks amazing. You know, you get online and you just see pictures or you see images and the copy is so compelling that you know, it’s, it gives you that FOMO, the fear of missing out and you feel like you need that product right then and there. And if you’re an impulse buyer, this is the most dangerous thing ever is to just jump in and buy stuff. And what we’ve found time and time again over the years is that there are, I’m going to say a good percentage of businesses that are really, really good at marketing. They’re really good at making the images at writing the copy at compelling their potential customers down the journey to being eventual customers and buying their products.
But when people get in there, it’s often lack luster or it doesn’t, um, it doesn’t look like they thought it would. And because of that, they don’t often get any results out of that product. And what I always tell people is kind of like, have a, have like a password or a passcode, or you give your friend your credit card. Like when you’re going to a business conference and you know that there are people going to sell you things. You give your friend Your Business Card. You say, don’t give this to me. I’m not allowed to buy anything here. You kind of need to have that in general when you’re looking at things online and looking as an entrepreneur, if you know that you’re an impulsive buyer or product buyer because do some research, do a little digging, look up the reviews, look up the testimonials, look at what you want out of your life and is this the next thing you need to get you there?
Because that, I mean, that’s a marketer’s first and foremost job is to get people to buy the thing. So a lot of times I see so many people get caught up with the marketing, oh well this video. And he said all these things and it was amazing and what they end up getting into with something that they maybe weren’t ready for or maybe didn’t need or maybe the product doesn’t even giving them what it promised that it would. Um, but you know, you get that, that, that sexy marketing that gets people to buy all the time. So I probably not
extension for that. That’d be perfect. That realizes when we’re about to be suckered in, like I was just a few days ago, like when you started saying that, I was like, oh, I think I need to cancel that, but I haven’t done anything with it
that you are not alone. Well, I was gonna say it extends. I think even beyond marketing, um, as entrepreneurs we always have these ideas and one of the biggest challenges that we see with entrepreneurs that we work with is the shiny object syndrome. This chasing a lot of things because they all sound good. But like, I just saw some stats the other day, you know, apple just cross like the trillion-dollar mark and the iPhone produces like 60 percent of the revenue. Like the iPhone one single product now produces more revenue than likes, a good portion of the fortune 500 companies. So like as entrepreneurs, one of the best things we can do is get clear on what we want to achieve and then get laser focused and have the support to get there. And what often happens when we don’t do strategic planning and we’re not clear on what we’re trying to do, is that we get a new idea and we try to run with it before we finished the first one or we hear some good copy on a marketing program and we think we need it when maybe it’s something we need in the future, but right now we should be focused on our goals and what’s in front of us.
Yeah. I’m just sitting here. I’m feeling bad for myself right now.
This is a moment of a very sheer vulnerability or eye opening. The I’ll say that
because I hate my life
and we say that because we’ve fallen into this trap time and time again. I mean everything we say here is from experience and usually us not just doing it wrong once, but doing it wrong multiple times until we finally get hit in the head enough to be like, all right, let’s not do that anymore. It doesn’t feel good.
It’s the forehead. It’s the hand to forehead Emoji like all the time. Right. Especially when I’m just looking online, researching. So talk about. Talk about keywords and how people use that to sell you so many things and you got to a place where you’re like, oh my gosh, I don’t even know how I got here by all my searches. Yeah, and you can eight slack as slippery slope. You can see something and think like that is all the answers right there. I’m going to chase that. And then you see another thing and you’re like, that’s all the answers and so you’re bouncing back and forth like a ping pong ball and switching your focus so fast that you can’t even remember.
It was great example of this. I had a coaching client that I was talking to last night. She attended a Webinar and came back to me and she’s like, Tom, I really think I need to buy this program. And I was like, well what are you talking about? You just had like one of your best months ever and we put this plan together for how you’re going to increase sales and everything you need to do. And she’s like, yeah, but this other thing, this other thing is what I need. And so we kind of walk through it and it’s like, well, what is this going to get you that you don’t already have now? And shirts. She could definitely benefit from it, but it wasn’t something she needed now and it was actually going to be a distraction. But that comes up time and time again for people.
Yes it does. We’re still feeling bad for ourselves over here. Give us some. But I think this brings us into our last key takeaway. Remember why you’re doing this? All my gosh, I think people have to remember this every single day because there’s so many distractions now that literally you could remember like I can be exercising and say, I know like I know what I’m doing today. And then an hour later I cannot remember what I’m doing. There’s just so many stinking distractions. So tell us, tell us how you guys remember why you’re doing this.
So for us, it is kind of plastered all over our house. So it’s very difficult to forget our biggest why for why we’re doing all of this is our family, uh, to create the life that we want for not only ourselves, but for our kids as well, and to do that with a lot of intention behind it. So not just to go through the motions, but to really decide how we spend our time together to decide what we make of that time and then to be able to kind of go further than that and even impact other people to create fulfilling lives for themselves and their families. So, you know, first and foremost, you know, put your own oxygen mask on, get yourself and your family to a really good place, but then you can take it further. Once you’ve done that, once you’ve achieved, you know, whatever it is you want to achieve, financial freedom, time freedom, then you have the abilities to go out and serve more people.
You know, that’s what we’re all doing is entrepreneurs anyways, isn’t it where we’re creating products or services in order to help other people solve a problem. So the better you take care of yourself and your family, the better you can then go out and serve all of those other people. So, you know, that’s really what lifestyle builders came out of was our, our big why is building our own life to look the way we want it to look. And then also helping others to do the same. And I think like you said, it’s really easy to get distracted and forget all that, you know, to say, oh well our family has quality time, but you know, you look around and everybody’s sitting on their smartphones or you don’t stop moving because everyone in your family has so much scheduling and going different places and doing different things that you kind of have forgotten what it’s like to sit down as a family together and to enjoy yourselves.
And you know, in this society it’s really becoming a problem for kids these days to just be kids. You know, everyone wants to do better and to push everyone to be better. But what really want is for our kids to have an experience as kids and you know, to, to challenge their minds and to have fun as a family to take adventures. Um, so I think remembering that will mean that I have more power over that shiny object syndrome. I am less likely to be an impulse buyer because I know every decision I make affects our family in some way, even if it’s in the business.
Yeah. Well that’s such an important thing. And um, I have a quick trick that I use. I’ve got triple monitors at my desk and on each monitor I have one saying that reminds me that I’m the first one is embrace the suck. And so this actually comes from the military and it’s like, look at this mission, we’re on this thing, we’re gonna do it’s gonna suck. But on the other side of it as something really good, so embrace that sucky part because you know what’s going to get you to something better. The second one is keep moving forward. And this actually comes from Disney and it’s like, listen, you know, you’re going to embrace the suck. And things aren’t going to always go well, but just keep moving forward because that’s gonna get you to where you need to be even if the journey there is a little bit challenging. And then the third one is people need you. And I had somebody say this to me a couple of years ago when I was kind of feeling bad for myself. They’re like, Tom, get out of your head. People need you, you know your family needs, you, your employees need you, your customers need you. And so every single day I look at those three things and those remind me of why I’m doing it. Not just for my family, but also for the bigger impact that we’re going to make.
When you said it was a Disney reference, all I could think of was swimming as the other one. The original Meet the Robinsons. That’s where keep moving forward came from. But yes, just keep swimming. It’s a little more
fun. Dancing in your chair, singing it. I guess that I guess that shows my childhood era. So you guys have had a lot of people come to you that probably think they know their why, but do you find that they normally do? They normally do, but they don’t go deep enough sometimes. Yeah. I think
what we find a lot of times is that people know they want more or they want something beyond what they have now. But most of us are kind of on this like day to day treadmill. Like Ariana said, so much is going on, everything is going so fast that we don’t take that time to sit back and really dive deep into what that means, what that really looks like and take it from. I want it like in my head too, like I need it in my heart and bring it to like an emotional level. So a lot of times what we’ll do with people is we’ll ask those questions, will help them dive deep and once they figure it out, like you can tell because now they’re more driven than ever and those little things that might have derailed them before don’t derail them anymore.
Yeah, that makes complete sense. Well, I want to definitely give you guys a plug before we end this about your book because when we saw that you guys got all the book things started. I don’t know what all you have to do to get that done, but I know it’s hard work. We were really excited for you as a team. So tell us a little bit about the book and uh, what, can you tell us a little bit about what it’s about, like your twitter pitch of what the book is about?
So I’ll attempt to twitter pitch. We’ll see long winded, I don’t know that it’s going to go. Going to catch you caught me off if you need to. The working title is lifestyle builders, um, you know, uh, replace your income, quit your job and live your ideal life. And essentially it is the collection of everything we’ve learned over the last, you know, 10 plus years on how to build a business that supports your life. And so it’s kind of cool. Ariana and I both wrote it and we go through and kind of tell a little bit about our story and some of the lessons learned, but then we give a lot of practical, practical advice on how to find your why, how to set yourself up well financially, how to test your business idea and start making sales. Then how to build a business around that and start looking at the different functions of a business and do all of that in the context of actually enjoying your life and your business while you do it rather than having your business take it over.
How’d I do? Was that the. Was that the. The expanded? I would say that’s probably more so the LinkedIn version, but I would say it was pretty quick. That was one of two, two so he could have fit. Great. Well, Catherine, tell us a little bit more and recap us here. Okay, so the list of Bob Takeaways once again from Tom Sylvester and Ariana Sylvester is to learn
about yourself and others around you. Number two, don’t try to be like everyone else. Nobody wants to do that anyway. Number three, find your support system for pretty marketing or sexy marketing doesn’t necessarily equal you getting results and five, remember why you’re doing this. Even as hard as it may be, don’t lose sight of why you’re doing it.
Guys, before we end, I just want to ask, is there any last thing that you, that you want to leave with our listeners?
You know, the biggest thing I’ll say is, um, you know, I, I actually just said this the other day, you know, I say I said this blah, blah blah. There’s never a perfect time to do things and there’s always going to be an excuse or a reason of why we can’t do it. The biggest thing I would say is if there’s something you want to do, start asking how you can start doing that today because when you start taking action, you build momentum and even if your first couple of steps are off, you’re going to learn and be moving forward. So start taking action and keep moving forward.
Yeah, and I would add to that there’s never a perfect way to do everything either. So to make sure that you’re finding people that you trust and that have your interests, your best interests in mind when you get your information, but always know that you can, you can tweak that and change that as needed to make it work better for you. So yeah, that would be mine.
Awesome. Well guys, you all are both very encouraging. Uh, you seem like a phenomenal team are on it. It’s really great to hear your side of things as well. And the great thing is, is what he said and what you said today, align so well. So I know that’s taken over 10 years to, to do that, but phenomenal job. We really appreciate it. And again, thanks for being on today. We want to make sure that everyone subscribes and reviews to this podcast and tells us about these Lifestyle Builders and what they’re building. Don’t forget, if you are looking for insurance quotes that don’t sting try BriteBee.com, click get a quote and you will find qualified insurance agents of your choice and your control. Guys, we hope you have a wonderful day and we will see you next time.
Find Tom and Ariana at: https://tomandariana.com/
Listen to Tom & Ariana’s podcast: https://tomandariana.com/podcasts/
Check out Tom & Ariana’s blog: https://tomandariana.com/blog/
Listen to Tom’s Previous Hive Five Appearance: https://www.britebee.com/blog-podcast/podcast/a-life-of-family-entrepreneurship-meet-tom-sylvester-the-hive-five/